Embrace your insecurities.

This is a very personal subject for me but if I can help just one person from this post then I’ll feel like I have achieved something.

I spent years of my life beating myself up about my weight. I still do now. I constantly criticised the way that I looked. I found myself looking in the mirror pinching parts of my body wondering what it would be like if that bit of fat wasn’t there. I thought if my hips were smaller and my thighs didn’t touch maybe people would look at me differently. I was 15 when I endured my first diet after crying hysterically to my mum as the scales told me I weighed 8 and a half stone.  119lbs. 15 years old and my biggest problem was that I was 9lbs over the average weight for my height and age.

I was a teenage girl and I felt like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders (quite literally.) I found myself googling ways to dramatically lose weight fast. In my mind I wondered how quickly I could lose a stone. Thinking back now I question how bad it would have been if my mind set had continued on this way into my early adulthood.

I then endured my first heartbreak, which I thought was the end of the world, as I knew it. For anyone that has been through their first heartbreak then you’ll know it’s the hardest of them all. Food became unsightly and my body had gone into starvation mode. This means at first, it stores up all the food that you digest and then after a while your body basically eats itself. At that time I was unaware of how it could cause health issues and even eating disorders.

I was lucky enough to have an amazing family and great group of friends. I never got to the point where I became ill because of my eating but if I had continued to act the way that I was, I could have ended up seriously ill or even dead.

Don’t get me wrong. I still have periods where I take on wacky and unhealthy diets but I make sure that this is all in moderation with a reasonably healthy routine. I will talk about my experiences with these in later posts.

I ask for everyone reading this to take a moment to think, people have feelings that are so easily hurt by words. I’d never wish for anybody to have the mind set that I had about my body and that I still have from time to time. Not a day goes by when I don’t look in the mirror and wish there was something I wanted to change but don’t we all have moments like that. If you are someone reading this that is insecure about your body or the way you look, embrace it, but do so without putting yourself through physical or emotional distress and remember, everyone is different, but isn’t that what makes you, you.

A x

15 year old me